mindbloggingly gibberishy gobbledegoob like oooooooodles of noodles running amok inside one’s head unravelling completely with sounds of syllables that mean nothing and mean plenty at the same time… woof!
moving house is no joke at all… esp for an aspie… been obsessively drawing out and redrawing over and over again my plans… i laugh at myself, [...]
Archive for the ‘family’ Category
woof!
Posted in family, friendship, hope, journal, love, relationships, tagged blessing, contentment, family, friendship, happy, help, love, support on November 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
31 oct 2009 – a different beat
Posted in dichotomy, family, friendship, general, journal, life & death, love, questions, relationships, society, tagged Asperger's, dance, emotion, friend, friendship, honesty, lie, life, love, man, relationships, support, truth, woman on October 31, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
“she probably thinks you are insane”… “she has disappeared because of what u said to her”… small little hints, and by now, i ‘understand’ human communication enough to pick up from these words a message of blame… that being different so markedly is somehow deemed ‘wrong’… and that telling the truth to people whom i [...]
19 oct 2009 – back in the desert
Posted in family, fatigue, fragility, general, journal, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, body, courage, arthritis, fatigue, tired on October 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
back in the desert… spartan living… cold reality of life alone… tho i kw i m never completely alone… i also kw i HAVE to do this last leg of this particular part of the journey as best as i can…
went to view a few apartments in a different area of town yesterday and had [...]
29 sep 2009 – goldfish
Posted in dichotomy, family, fragility, journal, life & death, love, questions, relationships, senses, society, tagged pain, understanding, fear, silent scream, Asperger's, death, misunderstand, shock, helpless, hopeless, goldfish on September 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
a startled goldfish… a silent scream… dry hot tears streaming from nowhere… just a terrible terrible shock reaction… rush of fear into the brain… a practical joke gone wrong… someone thinking it wld be fun to knock on my window in the middle of the night to say hello?… my heart now can’t stop thumping [...]
26 sep 2009 – tomorrow already
Posted in family, fatigue, fragility, general, hope, journal, life & death, love, questions, relationships, society, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, life, perspective, love, suffering, help, support, headache, fatigue, tired, old age on September 26, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
it’s tomorrow already… i mean today… was yesterday and now it is tomorrow… time swishes by…
tired, aching all over… ulcers… throbbing headache… backache… it’s past midnight and i shd go to bed… been a long long day…
no i m no hero for justice… but i do hate it when the weak, old and helpless are [...]
24 sep 2009 – chiaroscurro
Posted in dichotomy, family, fragility, general, journal, life & death, love, questions, senses, society, tagged beauty, pain, truth, child, perspective, father, love, woman, suffering, man, mother, art, heartbreak, family, irony, painting, dada, Chiara, chiaroscurro, Geertan tot Sint Jans, Renaissance on September 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
it started out dark and stormy today… now the sunlight is shining brightly, dancing on the surfaces of the swaying tree branches, water in the pool and the flowers in my patio… and i thought of the words: “chiaroscurro”, “chiara”, and a certain family of three that have featured strongly in my life recently in [...]
23 sep 2009 – sins of the father…?
Posted in family, hope, life & death, love, questions, relationships, society, tagged Andrea Bocelli, beauty, Blue Frog, Chiara, child, Cieli di Toscana, dada, emotion, father, honesty, lie, love, man, naive, pain, perspective, sex, truth, video, woman on September 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
what goes around comes around? does it really? i’d like to believe so… but sometimes, i do wonder… HOW exactly is it gonna come back around?
read recently abt the sentencing of russian-american pedophile Andrew Mogilyansky – i was struck by the absurdity of his wife’s claim that he was a good husband and father… i [...]
22 sep 2009 – poorer but happier
Posted in family, friendship, hope, journal, life & death, love, relationships, tagged arthritis, Asperger's, Behcet's Syndrome, body, courage, emotion, friendship, headache, help, hope, illness, life, love, pain, perspective, relationships, strength, suffering, support, truth, ulcers, vertigo on September 22, 2009 | 2 Comments »
everyone wishes to have lots of money… and indeed once upon a long long time ago i did indeed have quite a bit… but aspies are not known to be great with money… c’est moi: too gullible, too generous, too impulsive, too plain lousy at keeping those balance sheets… maths has never been my forte, [...]
20 sep 2009 – death & new life
Posted in family, hope, journal, life & death, love, relationships, tagged Asperger's, beauty, Ecclesiastes, friend, friendship, life, love, pain, perspective, relationships, resolution, support, The Byrds, truth, video on September 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
2 years already – he left 2 years ago today… and when he left, a can of worms sprang open… pandora’s box… the demons, the skeletons, tearing apart all that was familiar and wreaking utter havoc on the very foundations of my life as i knew it… but now, 2 years on, death has given [...]
asperger’s – THIS is the life!
Posted in family, fatigue, fragility, general, journal, questions, senses, tagged suffering, Asperger's, emotion, relationships, tired, depression on September 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
oh while the smelly workmen were wandering in and out filling my air with rancidity, i wrote a long nasty letter as per instruction from mom… and now, fatigued from brainmeltmeltdown and churning inside the acid reflux drum of clattering guilt… time for non-bed… i.e. too tired to sleep, too alive to die… damn, and [...]
14 sep 2009 – brainmelt
Posted in dichotomy, family, fatigue, fragility, general, journal, love, questions, relationships, senses, society, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, pain, mind, love, woman, vertigo, help, Asperger's, man, emotion, headache, stress, ulcers, fatigue, tired, depression, meltdown, female asperger's on September 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
stressful day… smelly workmen in and out all day fixing stuff… the smell was so bad in this heat… and the stress from having 2 strangers (who smell bad) walking around the house all day… it was inevitable i guess, the final meltdown… long after they’d gone… after a great dinner (which i cooked)… two [...]
10 sep 2009 – just before midnight
Posted in family, fatigue, fragility, friendship, general, hope, journal, love, questions, relationships, senses, society, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, pain, life, perspective, mind, love, woman, resolution, vertigo, honesty, Asperger's, painkillers, man, emotion, ulcers, relationships, hope, food, depression, nightmare, skank on September 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
just before midnight… throbbing ulcers and swollen throat… mild vertigo… thinking abt nothing much, yet too many different things at once… took a painkiller before dinner – still hurt like crazy but i love eating… and yeah i do like my own cooking… seems like my family liked it too… pork ribs with hawaiian herb [...]
08 sep 2009 – holes
Posted in family, fatigue, journal, love, relationships, senses, tagged arthritis, Asperger's, Behcet's Syndrome, emotion, fatigue, illness, life, love, pain, perspective, relationships, stress, tired, ulcers on September 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
holes in my throat… ulcers, i mean… it’s tiresome, one wave after another… never without pain… this afternoon i hv acupuncture and acupressure sesssion… holes in my knee… the tiny needles shd be no problem for others, but i hv behcet’s, and the tiniest of pinpricks result in angry red circles – yep, just like [...]
07 sep 2009 – well done spunkykitty!
Posted in family, fatigue, friendship, journal, love, relationships, senses, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, love, tinnitus, Asperger's, ulcers, relationships, empathy on September 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
time for a pat on my back… from me to me… it has been a trying day… but i managed to prevent my own meltdown, and at the same time diffuse a volatile situation between two ppl i love… who says aspies dont hv empathy?… i think we do, a lot more than ‘normal’ NTs [...]
06 sep 2009 – weekend sortie
Posted in family, journal, senses, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, sensitivity, ulcers, food, hyperacusis on September 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
weekends over here at home, time for outings to different foodie places… i do love it, but it is SO bad for the waistline!!!
ok, so i do hv a few painful mouth ulcers at the tip of my tongue, but that did not prevent me from plunging headlong into some really delicious thai food… in [...]
squabble meltdown
Posted in family, fatigue, love, relationships, senses, society, tagged Asperger's, confusion, female asperger's, meltdown on September 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
hate it when ppl squabble… problem with one is she doesnt realise how lucky she is to be so much loved and cared for with such dedication… the other is ADD and likes to repeat things over and over, making the one irritated and annoyed… why cant the one loved see beyond the faults of [...]
03 sep 2009 – home
Posted in family, general, journal, life & death, questions, society, tagged empathy, grief, home, pain, poverty, sympathy on September 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
i recently read abt the crazy high price of caged homes in hong kong… yes, ppl live in cages, cramped together in tiny dingy dwellings in this bustling city driven by money and commerce… sad but true…
my heart goes out to these ppl, mostly old and alone with no other options to turn to…
i hv [...]
01 sep 2009 – tired eyes
Posted in family, fatigue, fragility, hope, journal, love, tagged Behcet's Syndrome, pain, vertigo, tinnitus, suffering, arthritis, ulcers, tired, TMJ on September 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
waking up with dry tired eyes… dark rings… eye bags… maybe it’s the computer screen… the light’s too bright… reflection… or… maybe my eyes r just the windows to my soul… tired soul…
not feeling too well the past few days… tossing and turning in sleep, but funny thing, no more nightmares of that skank… good [...]
06 august 2009 – and so?
Posted in dichotomy, family, fatigue, fragility, friendship, general, journal, life & death, questions, relationships, senses, tagged arthritis, Asperger's, Behcet's Syndrome, illness, lost, nightmare, pain, suffering, tinnitus, ulcers, vertigo on August 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
arthritic swelling, ulcers, ringing ears, vertigo – tangible, visible things that hang on me, envelope me and jostle around inside my baggage that i carry with me everywhere, alongside the various drugs i desperately use to control the nasty effects of which…
but how do i speak to anyone abt the nightmares every night, how i [...]
caught inside the washing machine – vicious cycles
Posted in dichotomy, family, fatigue, general, love, relationships, society, tagged Asperger's, Autism Solution Center, Laura Corby on August 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
when mom first bought the latest washing machine, way back then when i was a child, i wld sit and watch our clothes spinning spinning spinning and feel a sense of wonder and delight… it fired my imagination, sometimes macabre and other times fanciful…
i hv discovered that relationships for me is like being caught inside [...]
-
Categories
Archives
-
Top Posts
