thoughts scrambled… too too tired… busy week… not all good… but at least it ended well… by well i mean the last 2 social events were with good friends… last nite with a great friend and collaborator, and his lovely wife, and today with another friend who shares my love for food… i meant it literally when i told that female artist – i dont need more friends… haha it must hv sounded so horrid to her, but it is truth… too much socialising makes me physically ill – the TMJ has returned since i came back here, and the ulcers are bad again today… pain is crippling – but many ppl will never understand this until they grow old and develop painful ailments common to aging and the dying process… me, i hv carried this since birth, pain is part of my existence but i never grew used to it… i dont anyone ever can… yet, looking at all things, i m pleased to come this far… happy and blessed, and also pleased with myself… i aint a hero on a stump running a marathon, but i hv weathered this pain well…
youth is so proud and impetuous, but there is so much verve and energy in youth that the middle age do not possess… and i m no exception… when i was younger, i was able to go go go on painkillers, mowing the world down with my enthusiasm and aggressively passionate… now i smile and see myself in so many young talents i meet, tho they hv far more opportunities and no physical limitations unlike myself… and i feel happy to see new things developing, yet i kw i m no longer the same as them, and i hv to dance to a different beat, even a different beat from the one i had danced to before…
scrambled thoughts indeed… where was i? 
anyway… time to rest up… full week ahead… hope the pain subsides somewhat… i need strength physical strength to get thru the week…
