27 nov 2008 – sunny weather

another sunny day… cooler today… winter is finally coming in… dry… a cool breeze is gently blowing in thru my open window… the view of the mountain is delish, tho the grass has become slightly yellowed from the lack of rain… i hope there will be no massive hill fires this year… 
my jaw is bothering [...]

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26 nov 2008 – wonder

got up on time today – yay! – a sense of achievement for sure… esp when i deliberately tried to use my oblique muscles to get me outa bed and succeeded in doing a good crunch, and without getting vertigo too!… smiles…
weather is again wonderful… who cares about this slight nagging headache when the sun [...]

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25 nov 2008 – bells

been beautiful weather… warmer than expected… an extended summer… sunny again today… 
awoke with ringing ears and slight headache… bad dream… fences… all i can remember were fences… kept falling back into sleep… got up late at 9am… gotta be more disciplined next time… 7.30am latest… so much to do… no not in a stressful way… [...]

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23 nov 2008 – time & space

restless night – bad dreams… can’t remember… aching… mild fever… jaw swollen… it hurts all over… post nasal drip cough… ugh!
woke up stiff and dizzy… still aching… managed to do morning papers… sorted out some thoughts… keep going spunkykitty… ulcers better today… tho tinnitus developed… slight nausea… mild vertigo… so this is my day today [...]

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20 nov 2009 – cool day warm sun

a cool day… dry… lovely weather… sun is out… woke up early… feeling happy… tho the jaw is still tight and sore… i am worried a little about the jaw thing… 
contractor came early to fix up a few things… things i cld hv done myself, had i the physical strength… it is frustrating… i hv [...]

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18 nov 2008 – duh…?

took two diclofenac 25mg each last night… already had dinner after pilates class, but ate again cos i really needed the diclofenac for my clamped jaw… felt bloated… over eating is something i need to avoid… i love food a little too much… thank God for good genes (?) cos the heaviest i’ve ever been [...]

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pondering

a friend asked me some questions… and i wondered – how should i answer in just one answer? i am so multi-dimensional, there is never just one answer for me… that is what makes me wonderful, yet annoying, beautiful, yet impossible… but then again..
 
and he also mentioned ’secrets’ to hide… i hide not for coyness… [...]

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12 nov 2008 – of meltdowns and melty-downs

meltdowns are different from melty-downs… the former a situation where i hv an insanity fit, and the latter where it feels all nice and warm…
i woke up today, mouthful of painful ulcers, mild fever, panicking about someone coming into my flat… and decided i will write my friend a longwinded (as usual for an aspie, [...]

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screaming inside again

the siren has gone off again – the screaming inside… i thought i had the day to myself, i was enjoying it so well… but he just came barging in, right in the middle of the day… thankfully i was fully dressed, or the neighbours would have had a visual feast and i would have [...]

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11 nov 2008 – brrrrrr

really cold last night… felt shivery too… think i m ill… woke up aching all over… mild ever… horrible ulcers… and i can also ‘taste’ it inside me… creepy ill feeling… my jaw has been clamped so tight from the constant pain… it hurts to open it… 
crazy dreams… one about the sea again… i love [...]

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08 nov 2008 – reverberation

woke up with headache and mild fever… bad dreams but i cannot remember details… probably best not to remember… aching all over… and feeling bloated… gotta really watch my food… coughing all night – post nasal drip – and swollen sore throat… am i ill? i guess so but i hope it won’t grow into [...]

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05nov2008 – waiting

i wake up with a feeling of ‘waiting’… waiting for something, but i don’t know what… it feels heavy waiting, especially if it’s for something unknown…
ulcers are bad… haven’t let up for almost a month… is it the stress of adjusting to living with someone else in the same flat? … an email from one [...]

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woke up with bad ulcers… thankfully tiny ones today but a lot of them and very painful when so many… my head hurts from the pain and my jaw is clamped too tight, i gotta keep exercising it to release the tension…
got news late last night fr a close girlfriend in canada that her mum [...]

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03 nov 2008 – morning has broken

woke up today feeling really depressed… sad… not the kind of breakdown depression that i had been for oh so long before… i am over that now, thank goodness… but the kind of slow aching sadness deep down inside… a sense of loss… and struggling with hopelessness, struggling to keep hope alive inside… for someone… [...]

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03 nov 2008 – quiet desperation

i m quiet… silently desperate… i need to get into my work asap… i m yearning to go go go… but now… a physical obstacle… he is my friend, he is a good person, i want to help him… but i m being way stretched and no peace for my work… hv to practically rearrange [...]

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