too much of a good thing can bring severe indigestion… my darling friend is a gem… cooking and cleaning for me… but i am wearing thin on the ‘too much’ syndrome now… i feel suffocated by his overwhelming caring… i shall hv to readjust some boundaries with him… it is all my own eccentricity to blame, no fault of his at all… i feel bad, because i m getting irritable & agitated… i feel like a fish gasping for air… i need space… !!!! but how do i navigate this minefield?… ah perhaps i worry for nothing… things will settle down fine once he gets settled here with something of his own to do… i love him dearly and he has been nothing but wonderful to me… good friends are hard to find, and good friends who accept without judgement are even harder to find…
woke up today with a horrible headache… a bad dream abt being broke and ill and being forced to go back to teaching preschool … ugh!… ulcers irritating me today… and my ears blocked again… low low energy & high high irritability – i feel sorry for my friend who has to bear up with me…
it’s times like these that i despair of ever being in a love-relationship… i need too much space… i love too intensely… my passion for love runs really deep but i am also too passionate abt my own stuff, and get irritable when i feel encroached upon… little things rile me, like wet bathroom floors n’ messy kitchen sinks; burping, slurping, munching sounds; being asked what i am doing when i am working on something on my own or just being quiet… the list goes on…
yet, there is a part of me that yearns for companionship… it is a tiny small part of me, yet it is deep n’ very intense, and no less important than the rest of me…
indigestion… right now… i hv to learn to deal with my over stimulated senses… and do so tactfully, kindly and lovingly so as not to hurt someone who means a great deal to me… a good caring friend…
